I never thought it would happen, but it was meant to happen at some point I suppose.
I have always tried my best to commit myself to NaNoWriMo events regardless of the situation since I find that I write best when under pressure. And there is never a drive as strong enough for me than trying to get a first draft done within a 30 day period.
This time around, however, I gave it up.
The reasons are varied, ranging from time constraints to stress, as well as a couple of unforeseen situations throughout the first half of July. But at the end, it all came down to one thing and one thing alone:
I was lost.
Even back when I was a pantser, I always somehow managed to string a storyline (even if it wasn’t all that great) and I would finish whatever project I was working on. But this time around, even after several months of preparation and planning…
I had no idea of where my story was going.
I had read about this sort of thing before, but I never thought it would happen to me. After being so acquainted with my characters and my setting… it just seemed so unlikely that I would not be able to write their story.
So I thought and thought and thought again of what was causing the problem. Turns out, ideas can feel exhausted.
The Rara Avis was meant to be a prequel to the world of THE HIDDEN ONES, and as such, many of the characters I had already written about which in itself was already a hefty problem. But the biggest issue was that: the characters in The Rara Avis had extremely similar problems to those of The Hidden Ones. It felt like I was writing the very same story, just in another epoch, and from someone else’s perspective.
And when I did try to make the plot differ from that of The Hidden Ones, it all went out of control and I could no longer figure out just where was the plot heading.
Thus, my decision to give up on Camp, for the very first time and with a very heavy heart.
The Rara Avis was a project I was incredibly excited about (still am, if I am honest) but until I really figure out the purpose of it, it will remain behind closed doors.
As for now, hopefully, a fresh idea like Mors Tua, Vita Mea will restore the creative flow and I will be able to pick up The Rara Avis soon.
As for the Camp NaNoWriMo campers that were able to push through – I hope it went great for you guys!!! NaNoWriMo events are, after all, a great way to get ideas set down and ready to be worked on!